Self-portrait in crow

Rustum Kozain

Again Mingus behind me somewhere

at full stomp moaning, oh lord,

moaning moaning out loud, oh lord;

me in the kitchen, hands spread out

over spices smoothed down for roasting.

I’m a piano man burning in my mind.

And I time it without time

just short of three minutes on a clock

frozen somewhere I've forgotten to look

and for that flash of the eternal, I swear,

for that flush, for once believe me,

for that flush of no time

when I am people of people,

orang-orang and watu,

when I am batu, vanhu, abantu,

floating free for minutes

from that crow, squat on my shoulders

claws hooked into my trapezius

beak buried in the neck

drilling down to the medulla

retching regurgitating poisoning

with the food of the gods:

the emesis of power,

the poisons of nation and race.

Featured at The Red Wheelbarrow on 16 June 2022

Extract from “Dear S, I am trying not to follow you”

Qhali

…to be alone

is to hear the true state of my mind

its thoughts that pour

to plead with myself to be better

to beg myself to open the windows

to switch back on the lights

i am rotting inside this body

and to be alone is to smell

what I have become

to feel the emptiness trying to escape

to see me without you

to see my fate decided without me

to see our children without you

to see them look for you and know

they will never find you

to close my eyes

and try to crawl back into my mother’s womb

and remember who i was before this place

Featured at The Red Wheelbarrow on 9 June 2022

After Loss

Fiona Zerbst

I look for you in threaded strings

of rivers, or the blast of wind

through rocks; the sober cloud that forms

and darkens so the angels can't

descend. That line of stone and pines

radiating from crumbling clouds

reminds me of the day we spent

close to each other's panting breath

along the path. In losing you,

I've lost whole tracts of land - unfenced

inheritance - and gained the darkness

of this day that presses in

like rain that blots the horseshoe bay.

All I hold is words and shells,

fragments of the lonely moon

whose craters cannot fill themselves.

Featured at The Red Wheelbarrow on 7 June 2022